The Battle of Best Friends
by KyleLovesNachos
Summary: After a shortage of food and an increase in population, the town splits into four different villages where 13-18 year olds are worked day and night with no rewards. When the villages break out into a war, the boys must make a choice of being loyal to their village or to their friendship. I do not own South Park.
1. The Meeting

**Prologue**

It was an icy cold day when the thirteen year olds were called to Stark's Pond. It was always cold when they were split into the four different villages because it always happened on December 31st, the last day of the year. Not too long ago, the new mayor of South Park had decided that the population was increasing too much so he ordered that the town be split into four villages and that anyone the ages of thirteen through eighteen would be split up into the villages to work. After they turned eighteen, they would be free to go on about their own lives. Hardly anyone made it that far though; most of the teenagers had dropped dead from exhaustion or starvation. That day, every thirteen year old in the town would be split into a village where they would begin their cruel five year destiny. The crowd of young teenagers looked up at the oak tree of a man who was glaring down at them.

"I have gathered you hear today so I can divide you into one of the four villages, Earth, Fire, Air, and Water." The man started.

"We already know why you're here!" A pudgy boy by the name of Eric Cartman yelled out.

The man ignored Eric and continued talking,  
"You will have everything you need, clothes, water, shelter, and food if you earn it."

"What about love and affection?" A sullen looking girl named Bebe Stevens asked.

"Love and affection? Who needs love and affection?" The man snorted.

"You apparently." A runt of a boy named Kyle Broflovski muttered. If the man heard him, he showed no notion of it and he pulled out a clipboard. After clearing his throat, he began to speak again,

"Heading to the Earth Village will be, Kenny, Clyde, Token and Jimmy."

"No girls?" A boy covered by an orange parka asked. Everyone knew that Kenny McCormick was a notorious ladies man.

"No girls." The man confirmed before continuing on,

"Heading to the Water Village will be, Eric, Wendy, Tweek, and Heidi."

Kyle and Stan gave a small cheer when they heard that Cartman wouldn't be on their team.

"I hope we're on the same team." Stan whispered to his super best friend.

"Heading to the Fire Village will be, Kyle, Craig, Token, and Jason."  
"Heading to the Air Village will be Stan, Bebe,"

"Why can't Kyle and I be on the same team?" Stan butted in.

"Because, it will cause a distraction." The man said with annoyance, he was clearly fed up with all the outbursts.

"As I was saying, going to the Air Village are, Stan, Bebe, Butters and Rebecca."

After the man finished, everyone put on their village's designated uniform and started to load their matching their uniform buses. The Earth Village people wore a white yellow jumpsuit with pictures of green leaves on it. The Water Village people wore tan jumpsuits with pictures of blue waves on it. The Fire Village people wore grey jumpsuits with pictures of flames on it. Last but not least, the Air Village people wore white jumpsuits with blue clouds on it.

"I'll miss you." Stan muttered throwing his arms around Kyle while Wendy and Bebe were doing the same. After everyone had said their goodbyes, the buses drove off to what the young teens would soon consider hell.


	2. The Physical Exams

**The Earth Village**

"Alright, everyone heading to the Earth Village follow me." Hans, a lanky man in his mid-twenties, said leading the group away.

"Where are you taking us?" Token dared to ask and he was answered by a knock in the side of the head.

"Don't speak unless advised to do so." Hans growled. The other children looked wide-eyed at what they had just witnessed and they willed themselves not to make a peep.

"Here we are." Hans said when they reached their destination. Judging by the green grass and the many crops, it was easy to see why this was the earth village.

"Before I assign you your jobs, you must go through the physical and mental exams first." Hans said leading them to a group of people in green lab coats. One of the examiners, a blonde woman named Susan, took one look at Jimmy and frowned.

"Well, we can't keep that one around." She said in a cold voice. The next thing that happened would scar the other three teens forever; Hans grabbed a shot gun and shot Jimmy directly in the head.

"What the fuck!?" Kenny yelled out in shock causing Hans and the examiners to glare at him.

"He wouldn't have been able to do any work, it had to be done." A nervous sounding man named Ernest said.

"I want to go home!" Clyde exclaimed bursting into tears.

"You better straighten up or I'll have you killed for being mentally unstable." Susan warned. Clyde automatically stopped crying and set his teeth into a grimace.

"Now it's time for the physical exam." A woman with short curly black hair named Tina chirped happily.

"Clyde Donovan, age thirteen, five foot eight and one hundred and eighty-three pounds." She muttered to herself as she examined the boy who had begun to nervously chew on his thumb nail.

"That's good right?" He squeaked out, forgetting what Hans had told him.

"You are a little overweight but it's not anything that we can't fix." Tina replied with a cheerful smile before calling Token up.

"Token Black, age thirteen, five foot seven and one hundred and twenty-seven pounds." She then called the last boy up.

"Kenny McCormick, age thirteen, five foot one and ninety-five pounds, it would do you some good to gain weight." She said.

After their physicals, Han announced that they should go to bed because they had a big day of work tomorrow not to mention their mental exams. The teens felt both nervous and excited as they headed for their cabin, part of them hoped that tomorrow would never come.

**The Water Village**

"Oh god, they're going to kill us all!" Tweek shrieked out while tugging at his hair.

"Not right away." A bleach blond man who was orange from too much spray on tan snickered.

"What do you mean Carl?" Cartman demanded after reading the man's name tag.

"I mean that if you don't pass the exams then they shoot you, it doesn't look like you have a good chance of passing the physical one, fatty." Carl sneered.

"I'm not fat I'm big boned!" Cartman protested angrily.

"Can we all just be quiet?" Wendy grumbled.

"Shut up Wendy." Heidi said and she went over to hold Cartman's hand.

"How long has this been going on? Wendy asked raising a brow at the pair.

"Eric and I have been together a few months which means you should keep your eyes off of him." Heidi warned. Wendy in turn rolled her eyes and muttered something under her breath.

"Well, we're here, go to John and he'll do your physical exams." The man said pointing at a man wearing fishing gear.

"Tweek Tweak, age thirteen, four foot nine and eighty-two pounds."

"Oh god! You're going to kill me!" Tweek yelled out.

"I know that the mental exams are tomorrow but it is obvious to tell that this one is mentally unstable!" John yelled to Carl. Carl nodded in agreement before putting a bullet in Tweek's brain.

"Weak dude weak." Cartman groaned even though he didn't like Tweek that much.

"Let's finish the physicals." John said before calling Heidi up.  
"Heidi, age thirteen, five foot three and one hundred and thirty-two pounds."  
"Eric Cartman, age thirteen, five foot four, three hundred and ten pounds." John frowned for a minute before turning to Carl.  
"Do you think he can make it to an acceptable weight before the second weigh in?" He asked.

"I doubt it, but keep him around, there's something about him that I like; I just can't put my finger on it." Carl replied much to Cartman and Heidi's reliefs.

"Wendy Testaburger, age thirteen, five foot seven and one hundred and twenty-nine pounds." After finishing with Wendy, John turned them over to Carl.

"Everyone go to your cabin, we have a big day tomorrow."

The teens went with excitement to their cabins, wondering what tomorrow had in store for them.

**The Fire Village**

"Come along now, I don't have all day." A woman named Georgia snapped at the four teens following behind her.

"Timmy!" Timmy exclaimed out earning a glare from Georgia.

"I don't need to have you examined to figure out that you will fail both the physical and mental exams." She said before pulling out a hand gun and blowing Timmy's face off with it.

"What the hell!" Kyle shrieked out with his eyes as wide as saucers.

"Quiet or you may be next." Georgia warned. Much to everyone's surprise though, as soon as they entered the gates of The Fire Village, everyone began to kneel at Kyle's feet.  
"What's going on?" Georgia demanded.

"His hair, it's the colour of fire." A girl gasped out. It had been awhile since anyone had seen a natural redhead, a few years ago, a virus had wiped out most of the redheads on the planet, Kyle didn't know why the virus hadn't affected him, but he was glad it didn't.

"He may think he's some sort of prince now but he isn't; I think I'll have to knock him down a peg or two." Georgia said with a scowl on her face.

"Are you going to shoot him too?" Jason asked.  
"No, I have a much better plan for him." Georgia replied.

"Let's get your physicals over with." A burly man named Dean grunted out.

"Jason, age thirteen, five foot five and one hundred forty pounds."

"Craig Tucker, age thirteen, six foot one and one hundred seventy-two pounds, impressive." Ben said which was an honour seeing that he was rarely impressed.

"Kyle Broflovski, age thirteen, four foot four, fifty-three pounds." He shook his head.

"This one is much too small, we must have him killed." He said earning a gasp from everyone within earshot.

"As much as I'd like to, it's illegal to straight out kill a redhead, no matter how physically or mentally disabled they are." Georgia said with a frown. Kyle breathed out a sigh of relief; he wouldn't meet the same fate that Timmy did.

"Craig and Jason go to the cabin, Kyle, come with me." Georgia said grabbing Kyle and leading him off in the opposite direction. He didn't know where she was taking him; he just hoped he'd be able to survive it.

**The Air Village**

Joanna looked back nervously at the four teens following her, she didn't sign up to be a village leader; she had unfortunately got the job when the previous leader, her father, passed away.

"Come on children, we don't want to be late." She said in a soft voice.

"You seem really nice Miss." Butters said with a smile. Joanna couldn't help but to smile back, she loved making children smile. She looked at the other four children and couldn't help but to notice that the black haired one looked a bit sad.

"What ails you?" She asks the boy who looks up at her in surprise.

"Aren't the leaders supposed to be evil or something?" He asks.

"Truth is, I'm not much of a leader, I'm an educator; I was an elementary school teacher before my father passed away."

"Sorry to hear about your father." Bebe cut in.

"He was probably a cruel man." Rebecca said.

"That's not very nice to say about someone who is dead!" Bebe shrieked.

"It may not be nice, but she's right." Joanna said. The group was silent until they reached the village.

"You will begin your physicals now." Joanna said leaving them in the hands on a nerdy looking man named Nigel.

"Bebe Stevens, age thirteen, five foot two, one hundred forty-two pounds."  
"Rebecca, age thirteen, five foot four, one hundred twelve pounds."

Nigel then pulled out a gun and shot Rebecca directly in the heart.

"What was that for?" The other three teens and Joanna gasped out in shock.

"She was a bit underweight plus I didn't like the glare she was giving me." Nigel replied.

"That's no excuse, I will not have killing on this soil, and you are to be removed immediately after you finish up the physicals." Joanna said with her eyes welling up with tears.

"Leopold Stotch, age thirteen, five foot ten, one hundred eighty-nine pounds."

"Stan Marsh, age thirteen, five foot nine, one hundred fifty-two pounds."  
After Nigel finished, he was escorted out of the village by two masked guards.

"Everyone go to their cabin, you will need your rest." Joanna said. The teens took a deep breath and started to head for their cabin, they were excited to be able to spend more time with Joanna when tomorrow came.


End file.
